How To Be Vegan On VacationPosted: March 25, 2014
I don’t know. I just don’t know.
Spring break just passed in the blink of an eye, and what do I have to show for it? Gluttony? Failure? A bit more junk in the trunk? Tan lines?
Yes, all of those. I went to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for a week to enjoy the clear water, spacious beaches, and phenomenally good weather. What I purposefully avoided was the assessment of my diet. I didn’t want to think about the organic-ness or vegan-ness of my food, I was on vacation. And you know what you do on your vacation? Eat whatever the hell you want. As if my body knew it was on vacation and wouldn’t register the junk food as actual junk. I stayed in a room with no kitchen in it (much like most hotel rooms don’t), so I was solely dependent on prepared foods.
I didn’t have breakfast most days. I may have eaten 1/3 of the Mega Stuffed Oreos box. I had more fries in one week than I have in the last 2 years. I made bad decisions regarding my health. I didn’t care. And what did my body do as a response? I imagine that if my body could speak for itself, it would say something like this.
“Oh, you think you could get away with that? Oh, you BETTER not be thinkin’ you can treat me like that. Alright. I see how it is. Well, you asked for it. I’m gonna let you ride out this week with your fried pickles and your caramel ice cream topped with caramel sauce (you really need caramel TWICE?). But you’re gonna get a rude awakening when you get home. It is going to suuuuuuuck.”
I hear this in a voice that could come from a dramatic yet sassy teenage girl who caught her “boyfriend” talking to another girl and plans on being overly vindictive. Please read it that way.
My face broke out in ways that made me ashamed to wake up without makeup. I got such a splitting headache on the plane ride home that I was convinced I was going to vomit out of the window. I even woke up the next day with headache remnants. I needed coffee this afternoon to give me enough energy to write a paragraph.
Just goes to show you, there are always consequences. Even on vacation. So here I am, nursing my body back to health with coconut oil, kale shakes, and vegan mushroom ravioli.
The ravioli was gross. Vegan dough tastes like play dough. Actually, it tastes worse; play dough is at least a bit salty. Now I’m salty because I bought a package of yucky ravioli that I will feel guilty about if I don’t finish. #lingo